Me.Well, my surgery went fine and I have returned to Baku safe and sound (though missing part of my abdomen muscle!). Hardly anything eventful happened during my hernia surgery, so I won't write about that. I would, however, like to recount a quick tale of some preliminary tests that reminded me I was not in Kansas anymore.
The day before the surgery, I had to do some tests to make sure I was fit enough to handle the procedure. One of these tests was an EKG, which measures your heart rate. Please look at the picture below for a visual representation of what an EKG should look like:
Notice the nodes placed around the body.When invited to sit down on the bed, I removed my shirt and socks as usual. Everything seemed to be according to plan until the nurse removed these from the beside table:
Some jumper cables. To be used with car batteries and human hearts.
Some jumper cables. To be used with car batteries and human hearts.Uhhh. What? That's right. Instead of placing dainty nodes around my wrists and ankles, the nurse used HUGE jumper cables. As she muttered to herself asking "Red to right and black to left," I couldn't help but snicker at the absurdity of being jump started. As she turned on the monitor, I braced myself for the voltage. Luckily, only the pleasant hum of normal heart readings came.
Besides this peculiar event, I found everything else normal, clean and professional. Staff were great (I got to practice my Russian, as apparently no one knows how to speak Azeri in Baku), watch satellite television and read some War & Peace. Looks like I've lived to die another day.
Besides this peculiar event, I found everything else normal, clean and professional. Staff were great (I got to practice my Russian, as apparently no one knows how to speak Azeri in Baku), watch satellite television and read some War & Peace. Looks like I've lived to die another day.
