A warning that the squeamish turn away from this post!
An artist's rendition of my weapon.
As many of you know from reading my posts or from talking to me, life is full of surprises here in Azerbaijan. Yet, yesterday was most likely my most shocking - and random - occurrence to date. The sun was shining (aka blazing hot) as I was walking home from the post office. Children were playing in the streets, the smell of kebab hung thick in the air, and I was humming along. You could say that if Penny Lane had been playing somewhere in the background, it wouldn't have been out of place. Yes, mesdames et messieurs, tout allait tres bien a ce moment-la.
But the random adventures I've come to love always come at such times. This time was no exception. As I was strolling along in my personal Penny Lane, I spotted an old lady in the street, armed with a knife and live chicken. In the States this may be enough reason for policemen to open fire, but here I didn't so much bat an eyelash. However, this lady called over "Qardas (brother) can you help me?" Being the Boy Scout I am, I of course went to help... not quite realizing what I would be asked to do.
CULTURAL NOTE: In Muslim countries, meat must be prepared "halal" or else you are not supposed to eat it. This involves killing the animal correctly, and a man must do it.
I told the woman I was a foreigner and had never killed an animal before. She waved away my pesky murder virginity away with an agitated hand and showed me the proper way to stand on a chicken as you kill it. In case you were wondering, its one foot on the wings, and the other foot on the legs. I think a year ago, I would have stopped at this point. But there's something about the absurdity of the situation that motivated me to go ahead and finish the job... and the doomed chicken. Of course the knife was the dullest blade in all of Azerbaijan, which means I had to saw away at this poor animal's neck for what seemed like a century!
Finally the job was finished, the proof of my savagery all over my shoes. The lady took her decapitated hen and walked away with a quick "thank you." I walked home... a different man, no longer strolling on Penny Lane.
