The Twelve Days of... New Year's?

New Year’s Day, New Year’s Day comes but once a year. On New Year’s Eve we celebrate and ring it in with cheer.

With these profound words began the hottest event this side of Azerbaijan: Barda New Year’s Party 2010. On December 24, 2009, approximately 200-300 people from all over Barda came to School #8 to watch an event organized by my counterpart and 20 children from our school. We prepared the students for several weeks, overcoming school rivalries, corruption and a lack of funds. In the words of a close friend, “Having this concert was like the victory of 1945.” In an attempt to keep my blog positive and free of negativity, I won’t go into too many details right now. If any of you are interested, however, in all the struggles that had to be overcome to hold one itsy bitsy concert, feel free to send me an email. I will literally type your ear off.

Some fun highlights from the concert:

• The Education Department leadership made it very clear that this New Year’s Concert was to have no mention of Christmas. Azerbaijan is a Muslim country, after all. To circumvent this tricky situation, I replaced all Christmas lyrics with the word “New Year’s.” Children thus sang classic Christmas… erm, I mean New Year’s hits such as: “I’m Dreaming of a White New Year’s,” “I’ll Be Home for New Year’s,” and, my favorite, “Twelve Days of New Year’s.”

• I was Santa Claus for the concert. Yes, Santa Claus is in vogue in Azerbaijan and in all former Soviet Union countries. If these countries don’t celebrate Christmas, then why do they have Santa Claus, you ask? Answer: The Soviet leadership, in order to squelch the religious undertones of the Christmas / New Year’s season, made sure to associate Ded’ Moroz (Father Frost) with the New Year’s holiday instead of Christmas. This tradition spread to the other Soviet republics, regardless of culture or religion. Thus, Santa Claus has little to no religious connotations in the former Soviet Union. Interesting, huh?

Santa Claus... when he was 23.

• My beard snapped off as I entered the auditorium. My pants fell down halfway through “Twelve Days of New Year’s.” Thank you 5 dollar Santa Claus outfit.

• The Education Department Director was late for the concert. We thus had to restart the concert from the beginning, so that she could see everything. No comment.

Receiving praise from the Director. Not sure what kind of animal she's wearing.

Cow head + vodka = blog posts!

Today is February 12. Having been forced to take a few shots of vodka and eat some cow face (again!), I decided I would catch up on my blog posts. Some call it a drinking problem… I call it productivity. With that being said, please enjoy the next few posts, and please excuse any inadvertent spelling errors!

Frustration

Frustrated today, but everything is OK. Just gotta hold out to my Turkish vacation in four days...

Thanksgiving, a l'azerbaidjanaise

I've received a few emails and messages wondering how my Thanksgiving was spent, so I figured I would type up a quick post to keep everyone updated.

Last week, the embassy had a party for us at an employee's house. All the volunteers went to Baku with their own homemade dishes for our turkey feast! After the delicious meal, there was a talent show... where I deftly handled the nose-flute. And by deftly handled, I mean "was unable to play." That is a difficult instrument to play!

On real Thanksgiving, which was Thursday as you well know, the Barda volunteers went to Lexi's house where we ate stuffing, mashed potatoes, spinach and other fine Thanksgiving treats. But Thanksgiving doesn't end there. In fact, in Muslim countries "Qurban bayrami" or Sacrifice Holiday takes place for about a week at the end of November. This Sacrifice Holiday commemorates Abraham's sacrifice to God from the Old Testament (a shared story among Jews, Muslims and Christains by the way). People remember the sacrifice by slaughtering sheep or cows and giving the meat to poorer family. My counterpart is fortunate enough to have enough money to buy meat, so she and her husband bought a sheep and slaughtered it.

Of course they waited for me to come over before they did the deed. A year ago this would have horrified me, but since I pass five butcher shops on my way to school every morning, witnessing the slaughter was hardly shocking. After they cut up the sheep into little parts, they gave portions to various poorer people in the neighborhood. It was really nice to watch the generosity and see how similar our traditions are despite being so far away from one another.

Of course not all traditions can or even should be loved by a foreigner. For the next morning, we ate the head of the sheep for breakfast! BARF- eating animal heads is one tradition I have never liked but always seem to get stuck doing! Happy Qurban Bayrami!

Return of the cow head

I came home one day, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I spotted a strange box in the middle of the yard. Intrigued, I decided to open the mystery box. This is what awaited me:



YUM YUM YUM!

The host father, Arif, came home shortly thereafter to get to slicin’ and dicin’. I just can’t escape this cow head. Oh well… as they say, “When in Rome….”

Halloween

Halloween is a time of fright, fear and … grey pumpkins? Besides this last irregularity, I spent this year’s Halloween surprisingly normally. Halloween began when I taught the kids everyone’s favorite song: “Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!” For some reason, they loved “smell my feet” the most.

On the eve of All Hallows Eve, I carved grey pumpkins with my host sister, Nurana. I couldn’t believe I was actually carving pumpkins in Azerbaijan… but I also found it ridiculous to see a grey pumpkin. It just AIN’T NATURAL!!! Anyways, my pumpkin turned out great, as you can see below:




On Halloween, we took the kids to an event at another school. They bobbed for apples, trick or treated and the like. It was completely new and incredibly interesting for them! I also was able to watch everyone's favorite Halloween comedy about the Sanderson Sisters: Hocus Pocus! A very good Halloween, indeed :)

The day I fell out of my mother

Anadan olmaq = Azeri for “to be from mother” otherwise known as “to be born.” So when Azeris say “I was born on October 16,” they are really saying “I fell out of my mother on October 16.” Kinda funny, huh?

Anyways, I am now the big ole’ iyirmi uch, or 23 as we say in the English tongue. And because this is Azerbaijan - where adventure lurks round every corner - my birthday was an interesting one indeed.

It all began on the 14th. The English teachers gleefully told me they would take me the following day to buy a suit for my birthday. I told them a million times to not buy me anything (money is very tight here) but they insisted, saying they would be upset if I didn't accept. That night, I must have eaten something parasitic because I was sick as a dog for about 12 hours, unable to eat and head a-spinning. I was sure it was swine flu until I watched the state news, which benevolently declared (and continues to declare) that swine flu has not come to Azerbaijan yet. *sarcastic eyebrow raise* Nevertheless, the morning of the 15th, I dragged my sorry rear out of bed to go get my suit. And what a suit it is! It’s from Turkey, which over here is equivalent to Paris or Milan-like quality. It fits me surprisingly well and I feel quite chic in my Turkish threads. As I put it on in the sad little bazaar stand, I instantly snapped out of my sickness. The rest of the day involved: a surprise birthday party at school, cake, preparing Azerbaijani food for my dinner party (wrapping dolma SUCKS!) and the dinner party itself.

The 16th was equally exciting. The teachers were so happy to see me wearing the suit that a few of them may have teared up. You think I’m joking, but I’m not. The teachers weren’t finished with me yet, though. They threw me a birthday lunch at Tofiga’s house where I danced (alone?) and ate until I just about exploded. Somehow word got out to all the kids at school and I was showered with gifts as well. I didn't want to take them but I had no choice. I have to admit though, I’m glad to have them. Some of my favorites include:

a giant evil eye
a “Rulex” watch
a cigar kit
a cup and saucer kit of Mecca
a ceramic orange complete with dessert forks
a plug-in rainbow colored watermill, that spins a glass sphere

All in all, I had a great bday! I was amazed and humbled by the school’s attention to the date where I was out of my mother. They say next year will be even bigger… stay tuned! Thanks also to friends and family who wrote messages, letters, sent packages and called. Made me feel warm and tingly!